My 33 Days with Cancer
Day 9
Ok day 9 and I can honestly say its feeling like Groundhog Day and becoming very monotonous. Problem is now that I am on this train there is no getting off although I would dearly love to.
I have had a bad, and seriously emotional morning this morning. Waiting in ‘the line’ I started talking to a young woman sat by herself looking at her phone. “Waiting for someone to come out” I asked. No, she said, “I’m in next” What!! I really didn’t expect that coming from such a beautiful, young woman when the majority of people I come across ‘in the line’ are elderly. Curiosity got the better of me, why? “I have cervical cancer” she replied. She is 34 and her name is Jenny.
Her mother joined us with her coffee. Now Jenny like nearly everyone else I meet around here is more than willing to discuss why they are having treatment. She has had her cervix removed but the cancer has spread into other parts of her young body. She is a lovely outgoing person and I instantly liked her she tells me that she has a 4-year-old child at home oh and not forgetting her new recently born twins. Jenny has 2 weeks left of an extensive course of treatment. The main problem for her is the fatigue. She is finding that basically all she can do is sit on the settee all day she has it that bad. As Jenny shares her story you can tell looking into her eyes that she is frightened, frightened of what the future might hold.
This affected me if I am honest as I cannot imagine what she must be going through mentally as well as physically at such a young age with such young children. I admit to ‘having a moment’ when I got back to the car.
A clear message here to all women putting off having a test, thinking you will be ok because it always happens to someone else doesn’t it?..... Go get tested!
I think for anyone contracting Cancer the problem is (generally speaking) there is no quick fix you can be living with it for months maybe years before you know whether the treatment you have undergone has been successful. As I mentioned previously, I won’t know until 11th January so it’s vital that you keep your head right otherwise, I can imagine the whole process could become a nightmare for you especially if you let your mind run wild in imagining what might happen. Personally, I have trained myself not to think about it as there is no point worrying about what ‘may or may not happen’ I can imagine it would only serve to drive you mad although I admit it’s not easy, I have had my moments.
However, it is ‘pretty fkn difficult’ not to think about it when you’re having to get up to go to the toilet literally 6 times in a night every night over the last three nights for a pee. Anyone with Prostate cancer will tell you that it really messes with your ‘Willy function’ and over the last three days this has got worse, much worse!
“Your drinking enough aren’t ya” asked nurse Rachet. They advise you to drink loads but at first, they didn’t explain why, it’s to help stop infection when your immune system is struggling to keep up with the damage done by the Radiotherapy and they don’t want stale urine sitting in your bladder, so you need to constantly flush it out. So, you drink a lot and then pee even more…a vicious circle. Needless to say, I can never make it home now without a stop at one of my pee stops, and guess what? more bad news, my mate Shaun’s gone missing. However suppose I can finish with some good news, at least I am not a sheep!
How am I feeling?
Ok well having to increase to 1.5 / 10 today because of the toilet problems I am having otherwise much the same apart from a dull continuous ache in my lower left groin area.
NB: I have changed the names of all the people I meet in my blogs.
#prostatecancer