For context, I was diagnosed with PC in 2015 at age 61 following a visit to my GP to discuss flow issues. She initially told me it was normal for a man of my age and I shouldn't worry. Move on a couple of years and I'm sat in front of a consultant who told me I had a slow growing cancer that wouldn't bother me for at least 10 years. Move on to January 2020 and I'm in for a non nerve sparing Radical Robotic Prostatectomy.
At every stage there have been fresh things to worry about, what kept me positive during this time was my absolute intention not to be a passenger. I've researched, asked questions of nurses and consultants and requested procedures where I felt they were necessary and they agreed. There were many things that frightened me, first DRE, first MRI, First Biopsy and of course every PSA monitoring blood test. I soon realised that you leave your dignity at the door, when I'd accepted this the process was a little easier to handle.
I suppose the message here is, your husband will be afraid, he may dread every stage of the process but my experience of the NHS and particularly the Urology Dept is that these people are caring and supportive. I think you need to see yourselves as part of the team, this amazing team of professionals who, collectively will ensure the best possible outcome.
My outcome is that 2 years on and PSA is still undetectable, I'm fit and well, continent but sadly defunct in the erection department. We knew this was a distinct possibility, my consultant gave us an option, accept the probability of a lack of function or face a significantly shortened retirement. Not an option for myself or my wife, immediate decision which we don't regret for a moment.
My wife has been amazing, most of all she's recognised the moments when nothing needed to be said or done, those moments when I just needed to stop and process my thoughts without any outside influence. We're as happy now as ever and determined to enjoy the rest of our lives together.
I hope you both have an equally amazing outcome.